Who is for Pizza? 💋
And dummy me ordered Papa Johns. What was I thinking?! ;)
Day 5: How did your family react? (or how do you think they will react?).
Could almost skip this one since I’ve discussed it before, but wifey and I hide this from most friends. That said the idea of family knowing MORTIFIES us both. They’d all freak the hell out. Lots of religious folks on both sides of our families.
Of course, wife and I are in church pretty much every Sunday though too. Even took the first couple we played with to church with us one time. We’re the type that enjoy the folks we can have a normal, vanilla relationship with in addition to the naked stuff. They were also on the down low.
Got off topic, but oh well… IDGAF. :)
Day 4: How do you feel about your non-monogamy? Honestly….
LOVE. It. Wish we had more time and weren’t so busy to enjoy it as much as we’d like, but still love it. Really wish we’d have started earlier.
In the words of wifey, “Sex is WAY too much fun to only have with one person.”
Day 3: Describe the best and worst experiences you’ve had coming out to people about being non-monogamous..
Wife and I go to great efforts to hide this side of us entirely because of career choices. More her than me, but still. That said, there’s been very, very few experiences of coming out.
Her BFF (her gay husband as she calls him) knows about us doing this, but doesn’t know a lot of details such a frequency and such. We keep his secrets though too. He’s now married to his partner, but plays on the side. Love him to pieces and he’s totally not judgmental AT ALL.
My best friend knows as of recently, but that was an accident. I wasn’t paying attention one night and texted wife saying “The guy I hoped could come over for you tonight has to work late. Dammit.” Turns out it didn’t go to wife. Ended up telling him a little back story. He’s super cool though and I totally trust him with this info. Had considered telling him before, but hadn’t. We’d talked several times before of his near threesomes prior to being married.
That said, we’ve only had good experiences so far, but again, we don’t tell anyone though either.
Day 2: When did you first realize you were non-monogamous? What was that experience like?
We didn’t do anything until after wife told me about her dream (see yesterday), but honestly I had fantasies of sharing her as early as college. Side note: We started dating when I was a freshman and she was a sophomore. Pretty sure I had the idea of watching her with another guy while hiding in the closet watching after chatting in an AOL chat room. Related: AOL chat room! Bah-hahahaha!
In hindsight, maybe I should have shared my ideas earlier. By the time she shared, kids were on the way and our time/energy/etc. all dwindled.
As for what the experience was like, it was awesome. I absolutely love seeing her in action and NOTHING gets me hotter than the idea of her playing with another guy whether it be with me watching/joining or just hearing about it later.
Now if we could just get more time, energy, time together, etc. to make it happen…
Day 1: Describe the type of non-monogamous relationship you have. You can use an existing category or make up your own!.
Gonna use this to discuss a topic I’ve thought about blogging about anyway. Been following a lot more people lately that are poly. Not sure I could use that to classify wife and I, but still wanted to discuss.
We started being non-monogamous after wife told me of a dream she had where we were in a hot tub with another guy. She played with him while I watched and occasionally put her as the center of attention. I thought it was ridiculously hot so we slowly got into finding other guys for her to play with.
We really enjoyed using the swingers sites to find guys for MFM threesomes, but she flat out told me that she didn’t want me to have other girls. She was afraid I would find someone better and leave her. I told her how ridiculous that idea was, but I also wasn’t too concerned about having other girls though either. I would always respect her wishes and was enjoying myself the way things were.
As time went by, we discussed the idea of playing with other couples. She moved on from the whole me leaving her idea and decided it would be fun. We did that and it slowly evolved into both of us having our own friends with benefits.
Now that I’ve rambled with a long back story, it brings me to the poly idea. Considering the back story of wife being self-conscious at the beginning, I don’t think we’re full blown poly. I’ve said with girls I’ve talked to on OKCupid that I’m looking for an FWB with a heavy emphasis on friend. I could never envision a scenario where I told another woman “I love you”. Just doesn’t feel right. Wife though I think looks more for a fuck buddy kinda thing that could come over for an occasional booty call that could maybe have some friend qualities as well.
So there’s my long-winded thoughts to essentially say wife and I fall somewhere between swinging/fuck buddies and poly on the non-monogamous spectrum. :)